Chapter 4Online harms - accounts of families and loved ones
Overview
4.1Social media is a tool for connection, learning and support for many, and has become a seemingly ubiquitous part of life. While its risks may appear abstract for some, others report that the effects of social media on mental health and overall wellbeing are negative. The committee received evidence on these negative effects from submitters and witnesses who spoke of social media use resulting in palpable—and at times tragically irreversible—harm.
4.2This chapter presents the lived experience as shared by individuals and families whose lives have been profoundly affected by tragedies and events whose trajectories were shaped in large part by engagement on social media. It is these experiences, and others like them, which bring the need to mitigate the risks associated with social media use into sharp focus.
4.3Some of this harrowing evidence was taken publicly, some confidentially. Thecommittee has included a few excerpts of evidence heard in camera in this chapter, in a de-identified format and with agreement from the families involved, because this powerful evidence is a compelling argument for action.
4.4Every person who came forward to share their personal account spoke of doing so to protect others, specifically to help other children and families navigating the at times treacherous waters of social media during the sensitive teenage years. The committee is deeply grateful to everyone who shared their experience, whether publicly or in camera.
4.5Please note that this chapter contains content that some people may find distressing and reader discretion is advised.
Children and social media harm
4.6Each account shared with the committee by parents is unique, but each told of a child seriously harmed by their interaction with social media, even in environments where parents thought they had secured devices as much as possible and put rules in place about their usage. In some cases, the controls and influence parents thought they retained were not enough to keep their child safe.
4.7Several deeply moving accounts were given by devastated parents whose children have taken their own lives. In each case, the parents came forward to explain how social media use degraded their child's mental health and contributed to a tragic outcome, and to try to help others.
4.8One story is shared below.
[He] was an old soul—vibrant, sensitive and intelligent—with a passion for life. But, as he entered his teenage years, that light began to dim under the weight of a struggle no parent ever expects: anorexia nervosa. While his battle with this devastating illness was deeply personal, I have no doubt that social media played a significant role in amplifying his pain. At the age of 13, [he] became increasingly absorbed in the world of social media. What began as innocent browsing turned into a constant stream of harmful content, images, videos and messages that fuelled his insecurities about his body and self-worth. He was bombarded by a culture of comparison and pressured to conform to unrealistic standards of beauty and fitness. As [his] mother, I saw firsthand how these platforms eroded his sense of self. The algorithms that are meant to keep users engaged instead trapped [him] in a cycle of destructive content, promoting weight loss and restrictive diets, and even glorifying disordered eating. It wasn’t just the images. [He] was bullied on social media platforms like Snapchat, where boys taunted him, telling him to go kill himself. It was on these same platforms that [he] learned the method he tragically used to take his own life… On 9 January this year, my beautiful 14-year-old boy…was gone.
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4.9The committee spoke at length about this with members of the Heads Up Alliance, a volunteer-run parents' movement which encourages grassroots family alliances to help delay children's access to social media and smartphones. Mr Ali Halkic, who lost his son Allem to suicide, implored policymakers to help address the damage done by social media and allow children 'to be children again':
In 2018, 450 young kids took their life. That's a school that disappears out of this country every year due to suicide, and a high percentage of that is associated with social media. It impacts on adults—it challenges our mechanisms for coping. How can we expect children under the age of 16 to cope with presence, status, structure? It is not necessary for them to do that. We have taken away so much of their youth. We're so busy in our lives that we put iPads in front of them and we buy them phones. I have the guilt and shame that I contributed to my own son's death. I paid for his phone. I provided the internet. I gave him that computer. I had no idea how dangerous this is.
4.10Other parents spoke similarly of their regrets over not having placed more restrictive controls on their children's social media use. One mother told the committee how her son was, like many children, 'tech savvy' and able to circumvent the controls his parents had in place, but which turned out to be a false sense of security.
4.11Bullying was a common theme. Although it is common knowledge that bullying is present on school grounds as well, and will not disappear if social media access is reigned in, witnesses and submissions spoke of the ways in which social media can exacerbate the intensity of bullying and other forms of targeting.
4.12The reach and proliferation of these platforms mean that children can experience targeting which rapidly escalates from social exclusion at school to sustained, overwhelming online bullying. A teacher described how children use social media against other children without necessarily being able to comprehend the seriousness of their actions, and how doing so through social media means that there is no respite from these attacks outside of school hours:
Home isn't a safe place anymore. They can’t just go home and be children, the dings and pings let them know that. And there isn't the safety of someone with ill-intent having to sit on their nasty comment, or have 'the guts' to say it in person the next day. Anyone without the full brain development (yes the children) can make an extremely damaging comment without understanding, at any level, the ramifications…Children are literally killing themselves over the damage done by social media, by other people’s (and yes children’s) abuse of AI technology to send created nudes around. Social media does nothing good for children.
4.13The speed with which malicious content spreads through immediate and wider circles on social media can further exacerbate the potency of its ill-effects—leaving the child feeling overwhelmed by the abuse, betrayal and embarrassment.
4.14For the young girl below, being targeted online culminated in tragedy. Thisaccount was shared by her mother, who sought but did not receive help from her daughter's school or the police.
She was 15. She ended her life having attempted suicide on 11 occasions. She was successful on her 12th. That began when she was 13, and it ended in February 2022, when she was 15. It began as things like, 'You can’t come to my party,' and, 'Hey, we're all having fun at the party,' to what became the use of Snapchat by one of her friends to send a naked image which was purported to be [her]…It was a fake image, but it doesn't matter. What happened was this image was sent. It was doctored by the young boy that did it and sent around in country New South Wales on a bus. He sent it at three o’clock in the afternoon, and by four o'clock approximately 600 students, people who were on Snapchat—'friends'—received that image… If I was going to say that there was a time…where there was no turning back, that was the image…People were pointing. They were saying. They were speaking. For her, social isolation followed and so did, ultimately, her death. But, if I was going to say the moment in which it changed, it was the Snapchat image. For her, it's not just the image. It's what then happened. What happened was firstly an attempt at suicide, but there was also the ringing of police, who did nothing, could do nothing and didn't know what to do, and ringing the principal immediately and saying, 'This is what this boy has just done. This is a boy in your school. This is the image I've got. Please, find out what we can do'—nothing. There was just silence…For [her], unfortunately what she learnt and many like her learn is that there are no repercussions…the 600 kids that got the image learnt that. They all learnt that you can run riot with technology—that is godlike in the hands of people whose synapses aren’t connected—without thinking about the impact, without thinking how it will unpack a person…[She] ended up a damaged, broken little girl who felt there was no way forward for her but to end. It was a burden she could carry no longer.
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4.15Mr Halkic spoke of losing his son Allem, and described how ill-equipped and unprepared parents often are to even realise the dangers:
I'm here to represent my son, Allem, and the impact of what social media has done to me. I want to give you a very brief, quick insight. Over a school holiday period this consumed him. He was a happy, healthy, family oriented, confident young man, and it took him to a point where he took his life. When there's an unnatural death, usually there's an investigation. Going back to 2009, there were a lot of contributing factors. One of the contributing factors, as I sit here in front of you, was me. I contributed to my own son's death. I allowed him access to the internet. I allowed him to go on social media. I wasn't aware of the impact that it had on him. There's a false illusion of us having our kids home, in the bedroom and all these things. I was that disillusioned and I had no idea how much access I allowed my child, not knowing the risks and the dangers. I've spent the last, probably, 12 or 13 years trying to understand the cocktail that brewed around his death. We get to a point where they have a lot to answer for. They didn't explain to us the risks and the amount of deaths and suicides that are associated with this. It is a plague; it's a cancer that's infesting our young children. My son was so beautiful and so confident. He was probably vulnerable at the same time, because he was never exposed to bad words or evil or anything like that.
4.16Other parents described their children—smart, sensible, ambitious, mature—who might have started with hints of body dissatisfaction which are not uncommon in the teenage years. They depicted a child's wellbeing during a time of physical and psychological change being derailed by social media algorithms which go into overdrive once susceptible children begin clicking on videos about physical appearance.
4.17Parents told the committee that their child's engagement began with social media apps like TikTok and Snapchat, installed on mobile phones as children gain increasing independence and want to feel included in the social world many of their friends inhabit online. Parents said they were often not aware of the content available on these apps, where children watch video after video devoted to pursuit of the perfect body.
4.18The effects on self-esteem of young people is illustrated by the account below.
On his 14th birthday, in September last year, he made the decision to spend his birthday money on getting a phone. He was becoming more independent, going out with his friends, bike riding and going to the park, so we thought that this was an important part for his safety. He very quickly followed and installed all the apps that his friends often spoke about, Snapchat and TikTok being the main two. As these apps were commonplace with his friendship group, we didn't think much of it. But it was from here that things started to change, and he had new behaviours that started to concern us a lot. Alarm bells were ringing loudly and we sought help, which led us to his diagnosis… I feel a dark cloud has come over our family and has taken a very strong hold. Each day is a roller-coaster ride. Just this week, we were on high alert as he had not passed his medical. His heart was not able to sustain the adequate daily activities, so he was on a lot of bed rest. He had three days to change it around. Otherwise, he would be admitted to hospital. The constant struggle to get him to eat, the constant cycle of cooking and shopping with the hope that he will eat—the impact has been huge to our family… I would also like to give my recommendation to increase the age to 18. I don't feel that my son at age 15 would have the critical thinking skills to be able to see the harmful content within the next year. I'm terrified of how he would be able to manage his current mental state and the academic pressures of year 11 and 12. We have always been our son's biggest supporter, wanting to help in any way to help him achieve his goals—his huge goals of studying medicine and seeing where it can take him. But over the last year, this dark cloud has made us very worried for his future. Anorexia nervosa is definitely a significant health issue being driven by social media.
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4.19Parents were strongly of the view that social media algorithms do not promote this material by chance but are instead deliberately designed to target people who may initially show some interest in a particular subject when using social media apps. The committee heard examples of how a search about a specific subject on TikTok leads to content of a similar nature being promoted to the person at an increasing rate. Adults experience a similar phenomenon on social media, where pausing to view a small number of videos about a particular subject leads to other such material being promoted to the viewer.
4.20One witness spoke of social media platforms deliberately manipulating users:
[T]hese companies' models are founded on manipulation. They are really predatory…There is a quote that is a bit famous in this sense. I think it appeared in a recent documentary about smartphones but has been used elsewhere: 'If a product is free then you are the product.' This isn't always the case, but it is definitely the case in social media. We're looking at who is the product. Some are 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds. In what ways are they the product? The way really is through envy first and foremost, but also hypersexuality and violence. Those are the ways that keep 13-year-olds, 14-year-olds, 20-year-olds and adults in our own lives in these kinds of spaces. Obviously, when you're13 or 14, you are highly susceptible.
4.21The manipulation underpinned by the platform's business models also allows individuals to be targeted by scammers on the platforms. One example, provided by Australians who had fallen victim to financial investment scams enabled by social media is set out below.
4.22In this case, a retired couple researched investment opportunities online only to be targeted by scammers through their social media feed the very next day, raising questions about how information about their online searches came to be available to the scammers and how it was possible for social media applications to accept advertising from fraudulent businesses facilitating scams.
4.23Other submitters told of being conned by sponsored ads which looked legitimate and appeared on social media apps, and of being surprised to learn that social media companies are not held responsible for ensuring that advertisers are genuine. One such submitter told how Facebook ads appeared in his feed after he and his wife researched bank term deposit rates on Google:
The day following our search I found 2 sponsored ads came up on Facebook with both Insignia and another, I contacted them both via the 'learn more' link on FB including my email and phone number in the 'box' which came up, both sent emails with details of bank deposit rates for terms which varied daily and also investments in semi governments being NSW treasury and Vic finance, we both thought about them for a few days and decided to go with Insignia which is the new trading name of IOOF which we both new. I had done some due diligence on both going to their websites, I have since learned that Insignia were aware of a scam and the following day posted a warning of such on their website.
Payments were made over 3 days 26, 27, and 28th of June totalling $250,000. We were only contacted yesterday by our bank suggesting that we may have been 'scammed', this now appears to be the case.
4.24This aligns with evidence provided by organisations, discussed in the previous chapter, which points to the financial incentives behind these marketing practices:
Digital platforms collect the data of children and young people for marketing purposes, with technology companies collecting over 72 million data points on a child by the time they are 13 years old. Meta has been found to have flagged children as being 'interested' in harmful products, including alcohol. It has also been reported to use personal data collected to create profiles of young people with harmful or risky interests, including 13- to 17-year-olds interested in alcohol, smoking, and gambling. Furthermore, Meta has allowed advertisers to buy access to the data of young people profiled as having harmful interests.
4.25For a young person struggling with their mental health this might begin by looking for information on depression, anxiety and even suicide. Such material can then work its way into their social media feed at an increasing pace and can escalate until it includes information on how to plan and implement effective suicide methods.
4.26This is illustrated in the excerpt below.
[T]hrough TikTok, through the searching she was doing, it was promoting more and more of the things that she was talking about. Even, for example, how do you end your life? How do you suicide? What's the least painful way to do that? What's the best way to do that? What's the quickest way? More and more information was coming back to her about that…'This is really a quick solution.'…if you tie the knot the right way—you can now go on Google and you can but this pre-made noose. You just pop it on Amazon and get it delivered. It did get delivered. I found out about it…through her younger sister, who said, 'Mum, she's done this'……She also found out through social media that there was a little portable lock that you could put in your bedroom door to stop parents coming in, so you can kill yourself or attempt to kill yourself and they can't get in. So you take your overdose and then you've got some time for it to work. That also came to our home via Amazon.
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4.27Eating Disorder Families Australia (EDFA), representing over 3000 parents and carers, also spoke of how overwhelmed and powerless many parents report feeling in the face of this:
Fiona allowed her daughter access to Snapchat, leading to a crisis of self-worth and the onset of anorexia nervosa. Sharnn's teenager was impacted by others with anorexia and pro-diet influencers on TikTok and Instagram. Then there is Mia, who has spoken so bravely of how her 14-year-old son, influenced by social media, developed body dysmorphia and then anorexia nervosa, ultimately leading to his suicide, with the method also provided to him by social media. All of these parents are educated, well-informed and very much involved in their child's treatment, yet they still couldn't prevent these devastating outcomes. These are just three stories but there are countless more.
4.28EDFA Executive Director, Ms Jane Rowan, shared her own perspective as a parent whose daughter's eating disorder was fuelled by social media:
In 2016, my eldest daughter was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at the age of 15. After a seven-year battle, she now considers herself recovered. However, social media did not make her recovery easy. My daughter has publicly stated that platforms like Instagram fuelled her eating disorder with a relentless stream of false information about diets and unrealistic body images. She lacked the maturity and skills to discern helpful content from harmful content. As her parent, I was not even aware that she was consuming pro-anorexia and self-harm content. I had access to her Instagram account and strict rules around device usage, but it was only recently that I became aware that she had multiple accounts filled with pro-anorexia and self-harm content.
4.29Another parent wrote to the committee about their family's five-year struggle with the effects of social media on their child's wellbeing. They told of their child's suffering in the grip of an eating disorder, and asked that policymakers to help protect other children from a similar fate:
In 2019, our vibrant, intelligent, beautiful daughter signed up to her first social media account. We had rules in place to limit screen time and had all the controls we thought were needed to keep her protected. But as these platforms are designed to find your weaknesses and use them to keep you scrolling, she was soon addicted to things her young mind couldn't realize were very dangerous. She started to participate in exercise challenges and dieting trends which quickly forced her into a devastating fate. It seemed harmless at first, but the algorithm kept feeding her content that eventually fermented into Anorexia Nervosa. It had her in its grips so tightly, that no matter what we did, she would find a way back to social media and its toxicity. The night I carried her bony, limp body into the emergency room was the night I realized that social media had led us into hell.
4.30They described the toll their daughter's eating disorder has taken on the entire family:
We fought this fight together as a family for over 5 gruelling years – and it's not over yet. When we are supposed to be enjoying our children's teenage and young adolescent years and all the excitement and changes that came with it, we are instead rushing to countless emergency room visits, hundreds of GP, Psychologist, Dietician and Paediatrician appointments. Instead of spending our hard-earned savings on holidays and outings, all our funds have gone to medical bills. I had to give up my 20-year career to nurse my daughter back to health and am finding it hard to get back into the workforce. My husband must work more hours to make ends meet which is taking a terrible toll on our relationship. While my other children have to navigate through high school and University without the support and full presence of their parents.
4.31Like many other parents and families, this family did not think they and their children were vulnerable:
We are an intelligent, middle-class family with close relationships between us all – if this can happen to us, it can happen to anyone. Please stop making excuses about not having the right technology or that people have the right to take their own control. We are living proof that every single person in this country is vulnerable to the venomousness activity lurking on social media.
4.32The committee also received evidence from a parent who described the experiences of their foster children, a pronouncedly vulnerable demographic of children:
All of our foster teens have been horrifically impacted by social media, from the age of 10. One was contacted using Discord by a team of predators, based internationally. This team presented as a young female individual from another country who was supposedly conducting research in to how bodies look different in different countries. They requested photos of her body and this progressed to live explicit videos. This young girl had no understanding of body safety or boundaries and felt entirely comfortable engaging with this user over the course of a few months. By the time she came to live with us and we uncovered what had been happening, she was incredibly traumatised and exploited.
Another young male teen used social media to create a fake profile of a young woman. He used this profile to engage with local males in the community to provide pornographic content that he downloaded from an external website. These males then deposited cash in exchange for these images at local points near our home. Once we uncovered this was happening, this young teen already had over 10 males leaving cash in the park over our fence.
4.33The evidence received from parents and organisations representing them was consistent on the decline in mental health parents are seeing in children in tandem with the rise in social media use, as well as the toll on academic performance and children's capacity to form healthy relationships:
The ironic thing was that, when we went on Facebook in the early stages—mind you, this was back in 2009—Allem had 750 friends. I was trying to understand. There were only 320 kids in the school; where did all these kids or alleged people come from? I remember clearly asking him one day who all these people were, and he just said, 'They are my friends.' He had no idea who they were or what they were. I think it's a common theme now with followers.
4.34Ms Toni Hassan, an independent researcher and author on the subject, also spoke of the altered world children increasingly inhabit:
I'd say that it comes back to the village. This is a fundamental failing, and I've been writing about this for 10 or 12 years. The village is there to say, 'You are worthy. You are loved. You are utterly welcomed,' and we've flipped that completely. We've asked them to go out there and say, 'Am I worthy? Really? Am I liked? How many friends do I have?' The onus is on them performatively sharing who they are, creating identities and profiles in order to say they are and brand themselves as worthy. It's a 180-degree flip. We've evolved over millennia to grow children a particular way, and we've allowed this change—or, rather, big tech has allowed this change.
4.35The degree to which social media negatively affects children's mental health and overall wellbeing is discussed elsewhere in this report, and expert views are set out. However, representatives from the Heads Up Alliance spoke of families being 'at the coalface' and seeing the reality of children's premature access to this online world and of social media-driven harms in real time:
Experiments have been conducted in every family home in the country, and we know that social media is distracting our children, addicting them, depressing them, exhausting them, inducing anxiety in them, isolating them, crushing their self-esteem, serving them X rated content, facilitating predation, scandalising them, radicalising them, bullying them, sleep depriving them, sextorting them, preying their specific vulnerabilities, driving them to self-harm and, in some cases, even to suicide.
4.36This is notably despite social media companies stating that their apps do not harm children, a claim which the Heads Up Alliance urged the committee to weigh against the experience of families who have lost children:
Both Allem and Mac were 17 years of age when they took their own lives—Allem in Victoria 15 years ago, Mac in New South Wales just this past year. Allem was the victim of cyberbullying. Mac was the victim of sextortion. Meta might claim that social media does not harm children, but the Halkic and Holdsworth families and hundreds more like them who have paid the ultimate price beg to differ. Our children beg to differ. In his farewell note to his dad, Mac made it clear that social media played a role in his suicide. Who do we believe: Antigone Davis or Mac Holdsworth? And, if we believe Mac Holdsworth, surely the next questions are: What are we going to do? And how soon can we do it?
4.37The answer to those questions, the Heads Up Alliance stated, is to raise the minimum age for social media use even if it means ironing out the details later:
I've heard some people say our technology to verify age isn't sufficiently developed yet or imposes too great an impingement on citizens' privacy. If this is true, we still want the laws on the books. If increasing the minimum age of social media is only a symbolic law, we say it is a law worth having. Ultimately, we're trying to change the social norms around social media use. Many parents are now under the false impression that if they hold their kids out until 13, they've done a good job and their children will be safe. A law change will help jolt perceptions closer to reality and provide much-needed support and clarity for parents.
4.38Doing so would place the onus on social media companies to ensure compliance, Mr Elachi explained. He also observed that the current age at which social media platforms accept users, 13, is not supported by evidence and questioned the rationale behind this status quo:
To what age should we lift it? Why don't we ask those defending the status quo why they think 13 is the correct age? Do they have evidence for that position? Are they insisting that we don't tinker with 13 years because they've consulted neuroscientists and child psychiatrists, or are we at 13 because of American privacy law, written 25 years ago, before social media was even invented, itself resting on the financial interests of tech companies? What are the chances that these financial considerations somehow got the settings just right for our children as well? It's an absurd position that those arguing against lifting the age have to defend.
4.39The Heads Up Alliance recognised arguments against lifting the age of access but likened them to now-debunked opposition to school mobile phone bans. MrElachi reminded the committee that the recently implemented mobile phone bans in schools have proven to be a success despite being strongly contested:
Parents urge our lawmakers to ignore the naysayers—those same ones who tried to stand in the way of school mobile phone bans in recent years. The same tired arguments were used then: 'It will only drive students' phone use underground'; 'Students will still find ways around the bans'; 'Let's not forget all the positive ways students can use their phones'. Thankfully, the state premiers saw through those inane arguments and pressed ahead. Twelve months later, the bans have been so successful that the premiers of Queensland, New South Wales and South Australia are doing backflips—not perfect, but still, as New South Wales Premier Chris Minns told me just 10 days ago, 'It's the best thing my government has done'. Thank goodness he and other premiers did not listen to the doomsayers then because they have been proven to be spectacularly wrong, just as they are wrong again now in trying to block this reform with the same discredited arguments.
4.40Mr Elachi cautioned against missing this 'once-in-a-generation opportunity to correct the mistakes of the past'.
Age of access
4.41The proposal to raise the age of access received considerable in-principle support from parents, who felt that clear rules on a society-wide level would help inform and empower parents to say 'no' when their children ask or pressure for access to social media at a young age. Some, like Mr Halkic, reminded that children do not necessarily benefit from being allowed to decide for themselves what they will access:
At the end of the day, as parents, we have rights. I just want to make a comment, which a lot of people won't agree with: at 16 and under, they should have no choice. We, as parents, should be able to govern what we allow and what we don't allow. I'm reaching out to all you guys out there to help us control this epidemic and plague. Allow them to be children again, to get back to some sort of normality and to disconnect. We probably missed an opportunity in the last 10 years, but I know we can make a difference for the next 10 years and the next five years by educating the children.
4.42Mr Elachi urged policymakers to consult child psychologists and neuroscientists about the impact on children's development. He pointed out that possible harms may not be limited to the nature of the content children are exposed to through social media but may include spending significant time on digital platforms:
We shouldn't just go off the vibe of things. Sixteen sounds good. It's certainly a whole lot better than 13. But for 16 the question is also: are we stabbing in the dark here? We need to talk to neuroscientists and child psychologists and say: 'Here is a blank sheet of paper. If we were modelling social media from the ground up again, where would we land on this age?' I believe it's 18. Jonathan Haidt says there's so much damage being caused. If our children were just watching butterflies and unicorns for four or five hours a day, that would still be damaging them so much because they'd be missing out on play, exercise and interacting with family and friends and other real-life interactions. So, even if we were able to just wave a magic wand and suddenly make the content perfectly suitable for children, children being, on average, four to five hours per day on social media platforms is harmful for them. We need to ask ourselves: at what age can somebody consent to that level of harm? Jonathan Haidt says, 'When you're an adult, have at it.' I tend to agree. A French report was commissioned very recently by President Macron of France. He brought together some of the best minds in France on this question, and they all agreed: mainstream social media is no place for people under the age of 18.
4.43One mother described lifting the age restriction as measures which would give parents a chance of protecting children from a social media world their critical thinking skills are not well-developed enough to navigate. Another mother, whose Year 8 son had already had a negative experience of social media and whose daughter is approaching a similar age, felt that parents need help to keep their children away from social media:
I am extremely concerned for my daughter and her potential use of Instagram in particular. She does not have a phone yet but we are intending to give her one at the beginning of Year 7. I can already see the impact of YouTube and 'shorts' on her self-worth. She is already spending unnecessary amounts of time in front of the mirror before school sharing concern about her face and hair. I strongly believe that if the minimum age for social media is increased to 16 years, we can keep our children off their phones during this critical period of puberty and will see better outcomes.
4.44Some parents spoke of being determined to resist giving their children access to devices or social media. One mother wrote of rejecting the idea that social media comes with the territory of being a teenager:
Social media nor ownership of phones is NOT a teenage right of passage in our home.
Social connection & freedom to be with their mates offline is a right of passage that we prioritize in our home and I need your help to support this.
4.45Another mother spoke of her determination to not give her young son a phone, and with it access to the online world, but was nevertheless concerned about the potential for her son to experience social isolation if he does not have access to the online world his peers inhabit:
New year, my son is starting high school. This year, many children in his year 6 class have their own smartphone and I have heard that some are on social media. Next year, when he starts high school, I am intending on giving him a 'dumb phone' as a way for him to keep in touch with me when on public transport and to text friends…I plan on not allowing my son to have a smart phone until he is at least 16. However, this will be very difficult to do if the majority of his peers at high school have one. I don't want him to be socially isolated. For this reason, myself and many parents are now banding together to delay the introduction of smart phones for their children, so that they can't use the argument 'but everyone else has one'.
4.46Parents with even younger children described already dreading of the effects of normalising the use of personal devices at a young age:
I am terrified of what lies ahead for me and my family when it comes to my now 5 year old (who has been gadget-free since birth) growing up in a society that requires, and expects, children to have purchased for them, and primarily own, devices for their own personal use – with this trend starting as early as Foundation year in primary school in some instances – which will essentially end the innocent life he once had and knew, where ignorance is bliss.
4.47The committee also heard from teachers and school principals who shared their professional observations. The impact social media is having is already visible in earlier years, for example Year 6 to Year 8, when children typically begin to be active on social media but their parents have limited understanding or oversight. As put by one Deputy Principal:
I believe social media applications in Australia need to be held to safety regulations, as we would expect of any risky activities. We teach our young people how to handle many risks such as safe partying, how to drive a car, safe sex, stranger danger in the public physical environments—yet at the moment a child can be active on social media without social media hosts taking any ownership of safety.
4.48Teachers made a clear appeal for legislation to assist children:
Parents aren't listening. People aren't listening. They need a clear, black and white rule, not a 'joykill' friend who they can ignore. They need actual rules, not some 'do good words from a random parent night they didn't go to'. Children need us to draw this line.
4.49Mr Halkic added a warning for parents who assume that their own children and families are immune to the dangers:
My opening comment was that I was a contributing factor to my own son's death, and I will live with that every single day. I wake up with it and go to sleep with it. I shower with it. I eat with it. The risk that I had no idea of should strike the fear of God in every single parent, because it's not the ones we think. If Allem were here and you lined up 10,000 children, he would be down towards the end. He was no way known to be in a position like this. This consumed him, and within four to six weeks Facebook basically destroyed us as a family.
4.50A submission from EDFA likewise voiced views expressed by its members:
“The age of 14-15 is when the pressure is on to have a phone. But if we could throw all phones in the bin and erase social media tomorrow, I would be in favour of it,” one parent said in the survey.
“Ideally, I would like it (the social media access age) to be 18, but there is so much peer pressure at younger ages to engage with social media,” a carer said.
Many parents expressed regret at having given in to pressure to allow social media at a young age: “My children had access at a young age. I wish it never happened,” said one.
“It’s very unhelpful. I wish we had been more strict.”
4.51Notably, children's access to social media was referred to as 'the "tobacco" of our time' by another parent whose submission asked policymakers to help parents by raising the age of access, echoing others' calls to 'please, please, do something'.
4.52This analogy with tobacco and other potentially harmful substances was also drawn by others:
My submission of 8,000 words was all about saying this is a public health challenge. In the ways we regulate tobacco, in the ways we regulate smoking and in the ways we regulate gambling, we learn from those things, we pull together a taskforce with all of the experts and the lived experience and we say, 'How can we tackle this in multiple ways?'
4.53Ms Abi Cooper, Youth Advocacy Lead at batyr, offered another perspective on this complex issue. She described the question of young people's interaction with social media as 'an opportunity for genuine change', advocating for policy solutions which empower rather than simply prohibit. Ms Cooper spoke of social media being a critical source of connection and support for children. Young people, Ms Cooper stated, are aware of the risks and potential harms, but at the same time want to have an online presence without fear for their own safety or that of others:
We want the skills and power to be able to navigate the online world. We want those who exploit our wellbeing to be held accountable. There is no going back to the childhoods of the past. What I hope for is instead a childhood where young people don't have to sacrifice their safety or their wellbeing to remain connected with their communities.
4.54Ms Cooper also called for young people to be heard and consulted on this issue:
I understand you've heard from parents. Young people should be here in this room and given that opportunity to share their experiences. I wouldn't discount how it feels as a young person to never feel like you have rights and to feel that's at the whim of adults around you and the harm that does to me if you can't hear my voice. It's not a very hopeful world that we live in. It doesn't feel very good to be talked at and about and not with. I really hope that you take some time to talk to young people, not just in your communities but young people who are content creators who earn an income from these platforms, who exist and reach out for support and who have been harmed, very importantly, of all ages and demographics. That is really important. I think we've said a lot today. I hope you listen to young people. That is probably the biggest thing. We know that this is doing harm. We know that parents are scared. I think young people are scared as well. We have a real opportunity.
4.55Conversely, another young man who appeared as a witness, Mr Oliver Martin, questioned whether and why children even want to use social media, as well as the degree to which a child can meaningfully make these decisions:
You want to because your friends are on it or you've heard about it. I got Instagram when I was 12 and I don't really remember why. I remember my older sister had Instagram. It was kind of this cool thing. But, if you really sit with the emotions that Instagram or Meta—these companies—bring up within children, they aren't necessarily good emotions. They don't feel good in our bodies. They don't feel healthy or communicative. And very quickly it becomes a thing of, 'Get off your phone!' Do you know what I mean? It becomes antagonistic within families, where the onus of grappling with this new addiction is placed on, say, a 14-year-old or a 12-year-old. To your question, as aforementioned: Are they able to consent? Did they have any choice, if they're in a class of 20 and 18 have Instagram?
4.56The committee again wishes to acknowledge the individuals who spoke of their own lived experience. It is the committee's hope that this inquiry can be a step towards providing reasonable, meaningful protections for the community, most notably children.